Here’s not only my last and final post on my reunion but also my current situation of the same.
Recently, not that long ago I finally recieved a letter or rather short reply on my long and honest letter. The decision reached was one of mutual agreement; we all felt it would be better to bide farewell. They are still my birth siblings but we’re as different as night and day. And to be honest since i wasn’t able to get that deep feeling of connection I suppose it was expected. While I longed to know my siblings to them I was a stranger yet my birth parents seemed more interested in me, but not much.
I used to prood of the fact my birth family is fairly diverse considering that they’re Koreans and that one of my siblings married a western man and thus have biracial children. Now I know why they seem to accept such a different person into their family. It has to do with basic survival and pride.
A reunion does not always end the way you imagined, hoped or thought. Of course I tried to convince myself that I was ready and aware of what this process would bring me… yet it now seems, I have to admit that I might have been a bit delusional.
This process has learned me that a relationship or friendship cannot survive on purely love no matter how deep. There has to be a mutual agreement and understanding but acceptance and respect is just as crucial. And you’ll need a lot of patience , especially if you like me have to consider cultural differences with customs, religions and languages. And prepare yourself for a lot of bumps on the road… in the form of minor, huge or trivial misunderstandings with potential of growing larger…
One thing I learned out of all of this is that if I hadn’t insisted on going to visit my birth family when I did. But waited a few years, perhaps until I had my own family by then I might have been more mature and prepared. But if I had done that I probably wouldn’t have been able to meet my birth parents when they still were alive…