안녕히 계세요 or 안녕히 가세요 – who’s really leaving who

Here’s not only my last and final post on my reunion but also my current situation of the same.

http://www.thelostdaughters.com/2012/11/nablopomo-day-27-diversity-or-sacrifice.html

Recently, not that long ago I finally recieved a letter or rather short reply on my long and honest letter. The decision reached was one of mutual agreement; we all felt it would be better to bide farewell. They are still my birth siblings but we’re as different as night and day. And to be honest since i wasn’t able to get that deep feeling of connection I suppose it was expected. While I longed to know my siblings to them I was a stranger yet my birth parents seemed more interested in me, but not much.

I used to prood of the fact my birth family is fairly diverse considering that they’re Koreans and that one of my siblings married a western man and thus have biracial children. Now I know why they seem to accept such a different person into their family. It has to do with basic survival and pride.

A reunion does not always end the way you imagined, hoped or thought. Of course I tried to convince myself that I was ready and aware of what this process would bring me… yet it now seems, I have to admit that I might have been a bit delusional.

This process has learned me that a relationship or friendship cannot survive on purely love no matter how deep. There has to be a mutual agreement and understanding but acceptance and respect is just as crucial. And you’ll need a lot of patience , especially if you like me have to consider cultural differences with customs, religions and languages. And prepare yourself for a lot of bumps on the road… in the form of minor, huge or trivial misunderstandings with potential of growing larger…

One thing I learned out of all of this is that if I hadn’t insisted on going to visit my birth family when I did. But waited a few years, perhaps until I had my own family by then I might have been more mature and prepared. But if I had done that I probably wouldn’t have been able to meet my birth parents when they still were alive…

♥쟈금은 안녕♥

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One Response to 안녕히 계세요 or 안녕히 가세요 – who’s really leaving who

  1. sister– I totally understand ur heart on this matter….I think so many of us walk into reuniting and think it will b all puppies rainbows and sunshine…I have met plently of adoptees that met their birth families and in the same light said goodbye to their birth families…sometimes it isnt meant to be :/ U have me and I have you 🙂 we can be family~

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